Regulating the nervous system: Exercises for everyday life

Why do you sometimes react completely overwhelmed - and how can you take targeted countermeasures? Practical exercises for self-regulation.

Do you know that feeling when a seemingly minor situation throws you completely off balance? A critical comment in a meeting, and suddenly your heart is racing. A traffic jam on the way home, and you feel your jaw clenching. That’s not a sign of weakness—it’s your autonomic nervous system doing its job. The key question is: Can you calm it down again? That’s exactly what regulating the nervous system is all about. In this article, we’ll show you what lies behind so-called self-regulation, why our bodies sometimes fall into states of dysregulation—and which practical exercises can help you find your way back to yourself.

What does it mean to regulate the nervous system?

The autonomic nervous system (ANS) controls nearly all involuntary bodily functions: heartbeat, breathing, digestion, sleep, and the response to threats. It works continuously in the background—without us having to actively intervene. Problems arise when this system becomes permanently unbalanced, a condition experts refer to as dysregulation.

Simply put, the ANS has two main modes: activation and relaxation. Regulating the nervous system involves being able to consciously and deliberately switch between these states—in other words, influencing a system that normally runs automatically. This may sound paradoxical, but it is possible: through specific physical exercises during times of stress, breathing techniques, movement, and social interaction. And our understanding of this has advanced significantly in recent decades.

The Polyvagal Theory: A Guide to Self-Regulation

An important milestone in understanding the autonomic nervous system is the Polyvagal Theory, developed by neuroscientist Stephen Porges. It describes not two, but three hierarchical states of the nervous system: a state of social connection and safety, a mobilization state (fight or flight), and an immobilization state (freeze, shutdown).

Deb Dana, a clinical social worker and close collaborator of Porges, has translated this theory into practical exercises for everyday use in her practice and in her book *Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection* (Dana, 2018). She describes the nervous system as a kind of internal map: When we know which state we are currently in, we can find specific paths back to safety. This awareness is the first step toward true self-regulation.

Specifically, this means: Not every form of exhaustion is burnout, and not every feeling of tension is a panic attack. The nervous system responds to signals—and we can learn to send it different signals.

Recognizing Dysregulation: When the System Gets Out of Sync

Before we can regulate the nervous system, we first need to understand when it is dysregulated. Dysregulation manifests itself in many different ways—and is often not recognized as such because it hides behind everyday complaints.

Signs of hyperarousal:

Signs of underarousal (hypoarousal):

In his groundbreaking work *The Body Keeps the Score* (Van der Kolk, 2014), psychiatrist and trauma researcher Bessel van der Kolk emphasizes that unprocessed experiences are stored in the body—and can manifest as persistent dysregulation of the nervous system long after the original event has passed. This makes it clear: physical exercise during times of stress is not a luxury, but often a medical necessity.

Scientific core statement "The trauma is not the event itself, but what remains in the body and nervous system - and what prevents us from fully arriving back in the present moment." - Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score (2014)

Somatic Experiencing: The Body as the Key

Trauma therapist and biophysicist Peter Levine developed the Somatic Experiencing approach through decades of research and clinical practice. His central observation: Animals in the wild experience traumatic events—attacks, near-death experiences—and recover completely afterward by releasing the pent-up excess arousal through physical discharge (trembling, shaking).

Humans, on the other hand, often suppress these natural release reflexes for social or cultural reasons. The result: the nervous system gets stuck in a state of chronic activation. Levine’s approach addresses precisely this—he teaches us to mindfully notice bodily sensations and allow the system to regulate itself naturally (Levine, Somatic Experiencing).

In everyday life, this means: body awareness is no trivial matter. Those who learn to notice internal signals—a slight tingling in the hands, a tightness in the chest, a sudden warmth—can intervene earlier and regulate the nervous system before complete dysregulation sets in.

Regulating the Nervous System: The Most Effective Exercises for Everyday Life

Here’s the good news: There are a number of well-researched, practical methods for regulating the nervous system. You don’t need any special equipment or hours of practice. What you need is consistency.

1. Prolonged exhalation

The vagus nerve—the central element in polyvagal theory—is particularly activated by a prolonged exhalation. Inhale for four seconds and exhale for six to eight seconds. According to Dana (2018), just a few minutes of this practice can measurably calm the heart rate and bring the nervous system out of its activated state.

2. Physiological sighing

Take two short breaths through the nose (first a short one, then a quick follow-up) followed by a long exhalation through the mouth. Researchers at Stanford University have shown that this breathing pattern lowers the CO₂ concentration in the blood and activates the parasympathetic nervous system—faster than any other breathing technique.

3. Consciously using the orientation response

Deb Dana (2018) recommends slowly looking around the room while specifically noticing what feels safe and familiar. This simple exercise activates the so-called ventral vagus state—that is, the state of social safety.

More Physical Exercises for Stress: Exercise as Medicine

Van der Kolk (2014) emphatically stresses that the body plays a central role in regulating the nervous system—not just the mind. Talking alone is often not enough. So what helps?

4. Consciously allow yourself to tremble and shake

Inspired by Levine’s Somatic Experiencing: Consciously shake your hands, arms, and shoulders for one to two minutes. This movement releases muscular tension and signals to the nervous system on a physical level that the threat has passed. It feels strange—yet is scientifically well-founded.

5. Rhythmic movement

Walking, running, swimming, dancing—rhythmic, steady movements calm the nervous system because they activate the brainstem while simultaneously calming the overactive limbic system. Van der Kolk (2014) reports in detail on the effects of yoga, dance, and other body-based practices on traumatized individuals—with remarkable results.

6. Cold Stimulation

Cold water on the face or wrists activates the diving reflex and slows the heart rate within seconds. A useful emergency button for acute overwhelm.

7. Humming and singing

The vagus nerve also runs through the larynx. Humming, singing, or saying “Hmmm” aloud creates vibrations that act directly on the vagus nerve and stimulate it. Dana (2018) describes this method as particularly accessible and suitable for everyday use.

Co-regulation: Why Other People Calm the Nervous System

We are social beings—and our nervous system knows it. The polyvagal theory makes it clear that the safest and most effective way to regulate the nervous system is through other people. Dana (2018) refers to this as co-regulation: the nervous system of a calm, present person calms the nervous system of the person we’re with—involuntarily and unconsciously.

This explains why it feels so good to sit with a trusted person after a stressful day. Or why a calm doctor has a soothing effect even before they’ve made a diagnosis. Or why babies stop crying when they’re held.

For self-regulation, this means: Consciously spending time with people around whom you feel safe is not a sentimental recommendation—it is a highly effective method for regulating the nervous system. And on the other hand: Anyone who lives permanently in an environment full of dysregulation will find it significantly harder to stay balanced.

Regulating the Nervous System in Everyday Life: A Matter of Routine

Individual exercises help in acute moments. However, long-term change comes from regular practice. The nervous system learns through repetition. Anyone who works on self-regulation daily—even for just five to ten minutes—literally writes new patterns into their nervous system.

Levine’s Somatic Experiencing approach emphasizes the principle of titration: small, measured steps instead of overwhelming sessions. It’s better to do three minutes of breathing exercises daily than one hour once a week that you can’t afford.

Some practical anchors for daily life:

The goal is not to keep the nervous system in a permanently calm state. That would be neither possible nor sensible. Arousal is important—it enables performance, creativity, and the ability to respond to real challenges. The goal is flexibility: the system can become aroused, and it can also calm down again. This flexibility is the true sign of healthy self-regulation.

When Professional Support Is Important

The exercises in this article are intended for people who generally manage their daily lives well but would like to improve their well-being. However, if you notice that your dysregulation is deeply rooted—for example, due to trauma, persistent anxiety disorders, or severe exhaustion—then while these exercises are helpful as a supplement, they are no substitute for professional support.

Trauma-sensitive body therapy, Somatic Experiencing therapy according to Levine, EMDR, or well-structured behavioral therapy can reach the nervous system at a deeper level. Van der Kolk (2014) explicitly emphasizes that body-based therapeutic approaches are often more effective for trauma than purely talk-based methods—because trauma is stored not only in the mind but also in the body.

Seeking support is not a weakness. On the contrary, it is a sign of self-awareness and care for one’s own nervous system.

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How long does it take to regulate the nervous system?

This depends heavily on the initial condition and the type of dysregulation. In acute situations, simple breathing exercises or a cold stimulus can bring noticeable relief within just a few minutes. Long-term changes - i.e. a fundamental improvement in self-regulation - result from regular practice over weeks and months. Levine's approach to Somatic Experiencing suggests that the nervous system learns new patterns in a similar way to muscle memory: slowly, but permanently, if you keep at it.

What is the difference between self-regulation and co-regulation?

Self-regulation refers to the ability to calm or activate one's own nervous system through internal means - for example through breathing exercises, movement or conscious body awareness. Co-regulation, on the other hand, describes the process in which the presence of a calm, safe person calms one's own nervous system. According to Deb Dana (2018), co-regulation is the primary form of regulation in terms of developmental history - as infants, we first learn what safety means through the presence of our caregivers. Both forms are important and complement each other.

Can I regulate my nervous system even in the case of chronic stress?

Yes, but with realistic expectations. In the case of chronic stress, the nervous system is often permanently in a heightened state of activation. Individual exercises help to temporarily alleviate this condition. However, sustainable change also requires dealing with the causes of chronic stress - be it at work, in relationships or in your own lifestyle. The physical exercises are an important building block, but are no substitute for structural changes in life.

Are these exercises also suitable for children?

Many of the exercises described are very suitable for children, but must be adapted to suit their age. Rhythmic movement, humming, shaking together or conscious exhalation can be taught to children in a playful way. Interestingly, children are often even closer to these natural regulatory mechanisms - they tremble, cry and shake themselves even more uninhibitedly than adults. Parents who work on their own self-regulation automatically contribute to their children's co-regulation.

What exactly is dysregulation - and how do I recognize it in myself?

Dysregulation describes a state in which the autonomic nervous system can no longer switch flexibly between activation and calming - it is either permanently overexcited (racing heart, carousel of thoughts, irritability) or permanently under-excited (numbness, listlessness, emotional emptiness). The first signs are often physical: persistent tension, sleep problems, digestive problems or the feeling of never really being able to relax. A helpful way to start is to ask yourself briefly several times a day: How does my body feel right now? What do I perceive?

Is regulating the nervous system the same as stress management?

There are overlaps, but also significant differences. Traditional stress management often focuses on cognitive strategies - scheduling, prioritizing, reinterpreting thoughts. Regulating the nervous system means working directly at a physical level, i.e. influencing the autonomic nervous system through body-related signals. According to Van der Kolk (2014), this body-based approach is particularly important when cognitive strategies no longer work - because the nervous system literally can no longer think well in a state of high activation.

Regulating your nervous system isn’t a skill reserved for a select few. It’s something you can learn and practice—with patience, consistency, and a healthy dose of self-compassion. Your body isn’t your enemy. It’s doing what it’s been taught to do. And it can learn to do something different.

Your action step for today: Choose a single exercise from this article—for example, the extended exhalation—and practice it for three days in a row, for two minutes each morning before you look at your phone. No more, no less. Small steps, taken consistently, change nervous systems. That’s not a metaphor. That’s neurobiology.